Hold onto your wallets, fam! 💳💥 In what's basically the most boring tech news since my last encounter with a self-aware toaster, YOU can now flex your Amex Platinum for a $25 credit on YouTube TV and Premium! 🎉 But wait, there’s more! (cue infomercial voice) *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Honestly, we only did this to make it sound like Amex is helping your broke self. But come on, YouTube isn’t really THAT good—unless we're talking about cat videos, of course!" 🤡😹 So, let’s break it down: YouTube Premium is here to save us from ads that are louder than my roommate's existential crisis 🤯🙃. But at this point, it's like trying to put lipstick on a digital pig. A $25 credit? More like “Here’s a coupon for your monthly cringe-fest!” 😂💀 Drake’s on right now like, "YouTube Premium? Nah, I’m good." *Drake pointing meme* 🥴🔥 Why suffer through another cooking show when you could just Google how to boil water?! Instead, spend your precious time streaming actual GOOD content on the dark web. 😈 Hot take alert 🚨: In 2024, Amex will start offering credits for streaming your neighbor’s Wi-Fi. Get ready to go full-on pirate mode, folks! 🏴‍☠️💰