🎮📱💀🔥BREAKING: Xiaomi just dropped a handheld phone case that screams retro cringe while simultaneously begging for a cold shower! 🚀🤡 What is this? A D-pad for iPods? That’s right fam, move over Switch, and welcome to the era of “we tried our best” 💩! Introducing Xiaomi’s 17 Pro and 17 Pro Max – straight outta the "We Copy Apple, but We're Totally Not Copiers" school of design! 🙄👀 ✨💰 For just ¥299 (aka $40, aka stonks that'll eventually crash), you too can turn your sleek smartphone into a dysfunctional Game Boy wannabe but with all the elegance of a 1990s potato! Shoutout to the designers for throwing in a D-pad that looks like it’s auditioning for a role in the next iPod remake. 📅🌀 Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, we wanted to make mobile gaming a flex, but now it’s basically a ‘please don’t ask to see my screen’ situation.” 🤖💔 But wait, there’s more! 🎉 The "200mAh battery" promises a whopping 40 days of gameplay if you sip your energy drinks and only play 3 hours a day – 😂 not sure if that’s genius or just sad! 🚨 Prediction: by 2025, all phones will come with a detachable D-pad and a free "How to Cope with Life" guide. 💯💥 Mark my words!