💔🚨 *BREAKING NEWS FROM BOREDOM CENTRAL* 🚨💔 Microsoft just hit the "layoff" button like it's a fatality in Mortal Kombat, and guess what? It's taking down the entire Xbox squad with it! 🎮😱 Picture this: 9,000 employees are now packing their bags like they’re leaving a bad relationship. 🤡💔 They’ve canceled more games than your ex has canceled plans! 😩 Perfect Dark? Canceled! 👀 Everwild? Shuttered faster than your hopes of finding a good job in the game industry! 🥴 The only thing they’re launching these days is the unemployment rate! Phil Spencer was all like, “We’re prioritizing strong opportunities," but let's be real, bro. If your best chance is throwing away your greatest hits like they’re last season’s trends, that’s major cringe. 😂💀 Some are saying Spencer might retire after the next-gen Xbox launches. *Imagine this as the finale of a bad TV show* where the main character just disappears! *Bing Bong!* 🚀🔥 So here’s the hot take: In 2025, Microsoft will release a “new” Xbox that’s basically just a toaster with a Game Pass subscription. Fr fr, stonks will go even higher when people plug it in! 🤖🍞💸 *Share this and let’s spread the chaos!* ✌️🤣