🚨BREAKING NEWS: X (formerly Twitter, but let’s be real, we all still call it "that bird app") is officially launching a marketplace for buying inactive handles! 🤯💰You know the usernames nobody wants? Yeah, those are about to become the stonks of the digital world! 📈💸 For all you Premium subscribers out there, prepare for a glow-up because these rare handles are gonna cost you anywhere from $2,500 to over a million bucks! 😵🔥 Seriously, only in the world of social media can a random jumble of letters and numbers suddenly have more value than your 401k! Developer quote: “We figured if people can spend 6 grand on a rare GIF of a cat, they’d totally drop some bills on a handle like @coolguy_42069,” said an anonymous dev, probably while sipping overpriced oat milk lattes. ☕💀 And let’s not forget that “Priority” section. You want your full name as a handle? Pack your wallets, fam! This ain’t just a username; it’s a flex. 💪🚀 Prediction? In 2025: The rarest handle will be selling for enough to buy a house, and we’ll be over here like “This is fine.” 😵🤡 Stay tuned while I try to convince my grandma to sell her old AOL username – it’s gotta be worth something, right? 😂💯 #HandleHustle