💥BREAKING: X is playing footsie with fake traffic! 💥🤡 Not to be confused with the footsie you played under the table with your 7th-grade crush, this is FULL-ON traffic inflation - and it’s messier than that time Kevin tried to deep fry a turkey! 🍖✨ According to internet wizard 🧙‍♂️ Nick Eubanks, VP of whatever, X's new "link experiment" is giving us all those "impressions" in a way that even your grandma's spam emails look trustworthy. Basically, they’re **preloading** content like it's the new iOS version of instant ramen 🍜, making sites like Substack and Bluesky go: “Wait, are these real views or just bots high on copium?” 😱🤖 Imagine if your stonks were just fake money... THAT’S what’s happening here! One moment you're chillin' with CTR vibes, and the next, you're drowning in a sea of metric distortion like it’s a TikTok challenge. 🚀💀 **Developer Quote™**: "We just wanted to make scrolling as satisfying as when you find out you still have pizza rolls in the freezer! 🍕 But now? It’s more like a bad date… we’re only getting ghosted! 👻" So, buckle up, capless crew, because X is about to take us on a wild ride through the SEO Twilight Zone. 🔥🔥 My hot take? By 2025, we’re all gonna be communicating in traffic-defined emojis, and the internet will just be one big "this is fine" meme. 🔥🌍💰💀