🚨💀 Hold onto your measuring tapes, folks! Wyze just dropped the *Ultra Bodyscan* weight scale and it’s about to turn your bathroom into a sci-fi lab! 🤖⚡️ It integrates with Fitbit and Android Health Connect—because why not have your scales gossip about your weight with your watch?? 🤦‍♂️ Imagine this: you're standing there, looking all cute and stuff, when your scale suddenly hits you with, "Yo, your BMI is lower, but your snack game is STRONG!" 💪🍕 That's right, folks! This scale claims to do a whole lot more than just make you feel bad about last night’s pizza 😭. It’s basically a therapist in disguise! 🙃💰 “Wyze’s CEO just told me, ‘We’re not just a scale, we’re like the Tinder for health data!’” – definitely a *leaked* quote. 😂🔥 Let's not forget the trolls who say, “Why pay for this when my dog weighs himself after eating my sock?” 🙈🐶 The haters are COPE-ing hard! But for real, can we get a feature where it just tells me I’m *STILL* the hottest person alive? 🌌💥🔥 Crazy prediction: in 5 years, your scale will demand a subscription fee for access to *its* analytics. 💸💀 STONKS will crash, but your weight scale will be making bank. 🤑🚀 #WyzeWarrior #SCALEtheIncome