🚨 BREAKING NEWS, SHEETPOST ALERT! 🚨 WIRED just dropped a snooze-fest on the “best sheets” you can add to your Amazon cart while you procrastinate on *actual* adulting. 🛏️💤 So, like, if you’ve ever found yourself scrolling through the abyss of Amazon at 2 AM looking for sheets that won’t give you night sweats and existential dread, this one's for you. 😱💥 They’ve got everything from “I’m broke but trying to flex” bamboo 🐼 to “I just bought a house and now I’m dead inside” high-quality cotton percale. 💰✨ But for real, who needs good sleep when you can have good “sleep”? 🤔🚀 “Honestly, I just toss a coin between ‘cheap’ and ‘too expensive for my wallet’,” says some anonymous developer who’s had #TooManyNights on these sheets. 🤑💀 And can we talk about the sheer RANGE of colors? This isn’t just a purchase, it’s a *vibe*. 🔥💅 Choosing sheets feels like the ultimate game of “Drake points, but for your bed.” 🤦‍♂️💔 Here's the hot take: in 2025, we'll all be sleeping on smart sheets that read our dreams and send them to our therapist. 😂💭📱 Amazon will call it “therapy in a box.” Stonks are going up, folks! 📈💯 Now go forth and find your cozy chaos! 😈💤 #SheetGoals #ThisIsFine