🌪️🔥 HOLD UP, NEW YORK! 🌆 Why is your skyline looking like it just walked off a horror movie set? 😱 Wildfire smoke is pulling up like the unwanted meme at a family reunion—seriously, WHO invited this menace? 🤡💀 According to the latest GLOOM report (totally not a scientific term but sounds ominous), our BFF climate change is out here turning forests into BBQs. 🍗🔥 More smoke = more sickness = “hello” to tens of thousands of premature deaths! 🤮🪦 Your lungs called, they want a refund. 💬 Leaked quote from a “scientist” (probably just a guy named Carl with a conspiracy theory): “Bro, is it me or is the air quality getting worse? I thought this was NYC, not a scene from The Walking Dead!” Meanwhile, eco-warriors are seething while sipping their overpriced oat lattes ☕️💸, hoping their trendy reusable straws can save us from impending doom. Spoiler alert: they can’t. 🥴 So here’s my chaotic prediction: in 2030, instead of “meet me at the coffee shop,” it’ll be “meet me at the fresh air station.” 😵‍💫 Get ready for wildfires to be the new TikTok dance trend! 🕺🚀 Stonks? More like smoke stonks! 📉💀 #PrayForNYC #ThisIsFine