🚨📱💥 Hold onto your overpriced airpods, fam! The iPhone 17 event is here to (try to) snatch your wallet and make you question your life choices! 🚀💸 👀 Here’s the tea: you’re gonna need TWO TABS open because Apple wants to make sure you can watch the event AND look at meme sets on TikTok simultaneously. 🥴😅 Why? Because Apple has perfected the art of making you feel like you NEED that extra 0.5MP in your camera 🥸, while also buttering you up with weird “aesthetic” shots of—lemme guess?—new colors of the same damn phone? 🌈 🔍 Phil from the Apple dev team was overheard saying: “We just upgraded the ‘Pro’ in Pro Max to ‘Profiting’ Max. No cap.” 🤖💀 🍏 Did I hear someone say new "groundbreaking" technology? 😂 More like “iSlightlyBetter” with each generation! This is fine. 🔥🔥 So grab those tabs, fam! One for the main event, and one for roasting the cringe spectacle that is the Apple event comments section! 🤡💬 🔥 Unhinged prediction: The iPhone 17 will come with the ability to project holograms… of previous iPhone models because why not? 🤯💎 #iBetterStonks 🤑 Get ready to seethe and cope! This is the future, baby! 🌌✈️