🚴‍♂️💔 Alright, grab your avocado toast and let’s dive into the wildest episode of “Peloton Destruction Derby” we never asked for! 🤡💀💥 So, Peloton just did the unthinkable: they recalled **833,000** of their OG Bike Plus units. Yup, you read that right – that's like calling in a chopper for a pizza delivery gone wrong 🍕🚁! No cap, that’s the kind of move you make when you’re either trying to drop the hottest new meme or just realizing your entire product line is made of toddler-grade LEGO. Our boy CEO Peter Stern kicked off the earnings call talking about "only three reports of breakages" 🚨. Like bruh, you’re literally using “only” to justify a recall that sounds like a horror movie: "The Return of the Broken Bikes." 😱 Imagine someone working at Peloton yelling “This is fine” while their bike explodes in the background 🔥🤦‍♂️. Leaked quote from a Peloton dev: “We thought about switching to stationary pogo sticks instead, but even those have better stability!” 😂🚀 Prediction time: Next, Peloton will announce a partnership with NASA to send bikes to Mars. You heard it here first: “To infinity and beyond… as long as it doesn’t break!” 💰💥 Share this spicy chaos with your squad! ✌️🔥 #PelotonFails #MemeLordEnergy