🚀🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The $5B Ladies Club is BACK, and it’s serving tea! 🍵💸 Yo, fam! Did you know that out of 1,600 unicorns (💀), a spicy 13% are strutting around with billion-dollar bling? That’s right, a staggering $3.5 TRILLION (yup, with a T) of the total $6 trillion valuation is chilling in these cash-cow companies. 😱💰💪 🤔 But wait, who are these baller startups? Just in H1 2025, SEVENTEEN fresh faces appeared in the $5B+ squad. It's like *The Avengers* of tech startups, but instead of fighting Thanos, they’re fighting for your wallets. 💵💥 💬 "I just wanted to make a cool app and now I’m worth more than my life choices," said a developer who probably regrets everything behind their keyboard. 😂 But like, it's 2025, and we’re still flexing on the same old unicorns? 😩🤡 *yawn* It’s basically the “this is fine” meme in real life. 🔥 🚨 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: In 2026, we’ll have $10B+ unicorns that are literally just glorified crypto wallets and NFT art galleries. Prepare your wallets... and your brains because they are about to be THOUGHT-EXPLODED! 💥🤖💸 Share this with your homies or your stonks will dip! 📈🤪