🚽💦 Yo, fellow tech warriors! Buckle up 'cause Withings just dropped a *THRILLING* new device that’ll make you regret that last cup of coffee. 🤡🔥 Introducing the **U-Scan** – the AI-powered sorcerer for your loo! This bad boy is like your smartwatch but for your pee! 🕵️‍♂️💧 🎤 “Bro, my smartwatch told me I was hydrated... but it didn’t tell me I was DEHYDRATED and low on Vitamin C!” - *Some dude definitely not using U-Scan* 💀 *SPILLING THE TEA* ☕️: It measures everything from metabolic strain (do you even lift, bro?), hydration levels (time to chug or nah?), to ketones. I mean, sweetie, if your urine can do that, your smartwatch should *cope* in seethe mode! 🤖🏆 Are we seriously at the point where we need a gadget to *literally* break down our pee? Drake is pointing left, and I’m all like, “This is fine” 🔥, while my toilet has a better health plan than I do. RIP to any privacy you thought you had - your morning ritual just became a data mining session for that sweet, sweet user data! 💰😱 Predictions? Mark my words: By 2030, we’ll be getting alerts about our *pesticide levels* while sitting in a smart toilet that optimizes your bathroom selfies. 📸✨ Call it: **Stonks or Sinks?** 🚀