🚨📺 BREAKING: The cables just got tangled, folks! The ex-senator Cory Gardner just pulled a "you know what? Why not rep the very industry that we all love to hate?!" 💀🤡 Introducing the new BIG BOSS of the NCTA-The Internet & Television Association 🎩🤑. This guy went from serving the People of Colorado to serving... *checks notes*... THE CABLE INDUSTRY? 🤔💔🌀 That's right, ladies and gentlemen, your favorite pre-election homeboy is trading in his suit for Wi-Fi routers and overpriced cable packages. No cap, THIS IS FINE. 🔥 Imagine zooming into the future and seeing Gardner, now a lobbyist, telling Congress, “Why give people REAL Netflix when you can give them *5 Mbps* for *$149.99/month*?” No DRIP, just 💧✋ Take me out of this cringe reality! 🎤 Leaked quote from an NCTA insider: “Cory’s not just swimming with the fishes; he’s helping them negotiate a merger with the electric eels.” 🐟⚡️ I mean, if you thought the Internet was a dumpster fire, just WAIT until you see what these clowns cook up next! 💥🔥 PREDICTION: By 2025, you’ll need a *government-issued subscription* card just to see memes! Get ready for a dystopia where pee-poor bandwidth is considered a luxury! 🚀🌌 Share and let the chaos ensue! 💰💯