😱🔥 *When you realize you’re attending a science fair for projects that are *literally* never happening* 💔✨!!! *Welcome to the "Things We’ll Never Know" extravaganza, straight from the Capitol Hill Fashion Show of Academic Despair™!* 👩‍🔬💼💔 Think of it as the tech industry’s version of "What If?" with a sprinkle of *we're all doomed* vibes. This is like hosting a cook-off but only serving “what could have been” garlic bread. 🍞💀 Imagine researchers showcasing graphs that go *nowhere* faster than my hopes after I read about crypto crashing again. 🚀➡️💰💨 Seriously, "based scientists" literally became “ghosts” haunting their own failure. 💀👻 You might as well slap a meme on it: *Drake pointing left* for "Research we could've funded" 🤑 and *Drake pointing right* for "Where did ALL the stonks go?" 📉 One *totally real* researcher was quoted saying, “At least I got a fancy poster… right?” 🤡 In a world where tech giants are busy throwing money at “what’s trending,” they forgot about the research that was actually *legit important*. 😬 **Hot take:** The next big TikTok trend? The “Reject Research Challenge” where you film yourself displaying *cancelled grants* like it's an art gallery! 🎨💫 *Bet it’s coming by December.* 🤖🔮💥