🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS: Samsung Galaxy Watches are about to become your *WATCHDOGS* for heart failure! 🐶💔💥 That’s right, fam! While Apple’s flexing with those hypertension alerts 🩺🍏, Samsung’s like, “Hold my beer 🍺, we’re about to save yo life!” 🚀 But let’s be real—if you’re only getting alerts when your heart is about to pull a *Thanos snap* 💥, you might want to rethink your life choices. 🤡 🚨 Leaked Developer Quote Alert: “Honestly, we just want to beat the Apple hype train before it derails us into the Sun 🌞.” - Random Samsung intern definitely not fired for this comment 🔥🔥 And what if your Galaxy Watch starts popping off alerts like it's trying to get you to quit those late-night snack binges? 🥨💀 “Hey, champ! Your heart just sent a meme 📩 saying ‘this is fine’ while it’s actually on fire 🔥.” But here’s the tea 🥵: If we’re not getting “heart failure” alerts in TikTok dance format, are we *really* living? 💃🎶 📅 Hot Take: In 2030, your smartwatch will just text you motivational quotes like “Dude, stop eating Taco Bell at 3 AM 🤢!” and you’ll LOVE it! Stonks! 📈💰