🚨💥 BREAKING: ITALIAN POLITICAL CONSULTANT TARGETED BY PARAGON SPYWARE! 💥🚨 In a plot twist that makes your favorite Netflix drama look like a toddler's bedtime story, this left-wing political consultant is apparently playing *Hide and Seek* with PARAGON spyware! 🤯📱💀 Yeah, you heard that right! WhatsApp slid into his DMs like "Yo fam, your phone’s been hit like a bullseye on a dartboard!" 🎯🤖 But wait—who is Paragon? Some sketchy middle-school dropout coding in his mom's basement? Nah, fam, it’s a full-blown corporate hitman tool! 💰🔫 Imagine this dude, sipping his espresso ☕ while *this is fine* meme embodies his phone life 💔🔥. He's like, “I’m in a war against spyware, and all I got is a cellphone and a pension plan." And what did the devs from Paragon have to say? "Lol, we just wanted to be invited to the political party, but we ended up as the bouncers!” 🤡 GET READY: In 2030, your toaster will probably be working for the government, spying on your breakfast choices. 🍞😳 So, stonks or cringe? You decide! But if you think this is the craziest thing you’ll see today, brace yourselves! Future predictions say CIA drones will start delivering pizzas... for intel. 🤯🍕💥 #PizzaIsForSpies