🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: THE NEW YORK TIMES IS STILL GETTING GAMED BY THE RIGHT 🔥🚨 Okay fam, grab your popcorn 🍿 because the paper of record just served us a piping hot take that’s more cringe than my grandma trying to use TikTok! 😂 The New York Times is spinning in circles like a Beyblade while everyone else is playing chess. ♟️💀 Here’s the tea ☕: they decided to cover a WHOLE ASS story about mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani’s ancient college application from ’09 🙄. The dude identified as "Asian" and "Black or African"—like, dude, we’re just trying to vibe here. Can you keep up? Drake’s pointing NOPE 🥴. Sources say some intern was probably like, “Let’s write about this and ignore the *literal fascism* brewing” 🤡. Leaked quote from the NYT office: “Is this a hot take or a cold take? I can’t tell.” 😬🤖 In a world where **conspiracies** run wild and the paper straight-up simps for centrism, can we all agree that this is AT LEAST a galaxy brain moment? 🧠✨ **UNHINGED PREDICTION**: In 2024, The New York Times will cover the new *Worms of Conspiracy* video game as a legit political movement. Take the L on that, stonks! 🚀🔥💰