🚨📱BREAKING: iPhone 17 Pro Max Leaks Have Us Shooketh! 🚨📱 So, you thought you’d survive another year with your dusty old iPhone? 🤔 Nah fam, the iPhone 17 Pro Max is dropping some juicy features that'll have you questioning your life choices harder than a mid-2000s emo kid! 💔 🔄 Word on the street is, if these 8 rumored features are real, I might just throw my old phone in the trash like it's 2008 again. 🔥💅 “But wait, I just bought a phone last year!” *Cringe, dude!* 😬 Rumors include: 1. A built-in coffee maker? ☕ (Because why not?) 2. Hologram selfies? 🤳 (Say goodbye to bad angles, hello future!) 3. Battery that charges from your tears! 💦 (Emotional support, anyone?) 4. A feature that finally detects your inner chaos! 💥 (Just all the "this is fine" memes in one app) One dev supposedly said, “If Apple doesn’t include a feature that makes your ex instantly regret their choice, what even is the point?” 😂💀 📐 But here’s the kicker: if the iPhone 17 calls me *dad* and takes over my life, I will be stonks-ing my way to the Apple store lined up with all the other sheep. 🐑💰 So strap in, folks! If this iPhone comes with self-upgrading AI that tells your boss you’re too busy for that 10 AM meeting—👀—*I’m SOLD.* **Prediction:** The iPhone 18 will literally walk your dog and do your taxes, and we'll all be out here like "This is fine." 🤖💸