🚨🔑 BREAKING: 🏠 Zillow has officially declared WAR on your privacy, fam! 💀💸 Ever wanted to know how much your buddy’s house costs and ruin the illusion that they might be a peasant like you? 🤡 Well, thanks to Zillow, you can just type in their address and BOOM! 💥 Wealthy friends be like: “I’m not rich, it’s just a humble abode!” Meanwhile, their house is *low-key* a 7-bedroom mansion with a fountain that has real goldfish in it! 🐟🍾 💼 A “source” at Zillow (aka me, after too much coffee ☕️) says, “We’re basically the FBI for rich neighbors. Who needs a reality show when you’ve got our app?!” 🕵️‍♂️💰 This is fine. 🔥💔 Your besties are now just rich people in disguise—like that Drake meme where he’s sick of seeing their stonks climb while you’re down here, sitting on your couch with ramen. 🙃🍜 Listen, I’m not saying you should pry into your friend’s finances, but if their yard is bigger than your future, are they even your real friend? 🤔🤔 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Zillow will launch “Zillow FOMO”—an app that alerts you when your friend buys a yacht! Prepare for sordid group chats full of jealousy, y’all! 🚀🛥️ #BlessedButSeethe