🚨🍺 BREAKING: Heineken just took a sip of sustainability and said, “Hold my beer!” 🍻💚 Say goodbye to air-polluting gas boilers, and HELLO to a futuristic 100MWh heat battery that’s going to brew your favorite lagers while the world does the cha-cha on climate change 🌍✨. Heineken is teaming up with some nerds from Rondo (no, not the actor) to create a heat battery powered by sunshine, rainbows, and good vibes from Lisbon. We’re talking bricks that magically turn heat into steam like some wizardry 🔮🔥. It’s so eco-friendly, even Captain Planet would give a double thumbs up! 👍🏽💚 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We told the brewery there was a new magic stone, and now they all think they’re sorcerers. It’s basically Hogwarts for beer!” 😂🧙‍♂️ And get this, they’re popping this bad boy live in April 2027, just in time for your next midlife crisis/quarantine reunion! Think about it: beer without the guilt, livin’ that “no cap” life! 🔥 But wait! What’s next? Heineken’s gonna unveil “beer-flavored solar panels” that double as coasters? 2028 is gonna be WILD 🤯🚀! #Stonks 🍺💰