🎮💀 *Alert: Identity Crisis Incoming* 💀🎮 So, I was minding my own business when I stumbled upon this *legendary* Bluesky meme that asked everyone to share their first five Steam purchases. And let me tell you, if you thought YOUR life was a mess, look at the cringe-fest that is my Steam library from 2010! 😱🔥 *First up? LOL, I got “Call of Duty: Black Ops”* – aka “I wanna be a soldier, but also have no social life.” 🪖💔 *That's peak middle school energy right there.* No cap, my friends still roast me like a marshmallow for it! Then, there was “Left 4 Dead 2” – because nothing says “I’m socially awkward” louder than slaughtering zombies with buddies you only know through gamer tags. #RealFriends 🤢💔 Imagine this convo at the Steam HQ: **Dev 1:** “Dude, these purchases tell a lot about our users!” **Dev 2:** “Facts! Can we just market them therapy sessions instead?” 🤷‍♂️😂 But fr fr, this is like an archaeological dig into your past, and boy, did I dig up some *prehistoric cringe.* If your first game isn’t some indie gem, like *Among Us* before it was cool, you’re a boomer – sorry, not sorry. 🧐🔥 *My hot take? The only people who don’t have embarrassing first purchases are the ones who haven’t gaming dived into the meme pool yet.* Just wait until *NFTs* become the new “purchases.” Game over, fam! 🚀💰💁‍♂️