🚨💣 BREAKING NEWS: ORACLE GETTING SCHOOLS’ 101 ON HOW TO GET HACKED! 🤡💀 So, the Washington Post just got rocked by the Clop ransomware gang! YES, THE SAME CLONDIKE BAR THIEVES BUT FOR DATA! 🤑💻 I mean, it’s like they saw the Oracle software and said, “let’s take a in-depth nap in here!” 😴💤 The hackers rolled in like they owned the place, exploiting those Oracle vulnerabilities so bad it makes your mom's spaghetti look gourmet! 🍝✨ 🥴 “Hey, what’s a little ransomware among friends?” said no one EVER. Also, can we talk about how Oracle is basically the grandpa of tech—still vibing with 90s software like that one weird uncle showing off his old jazz records? 🎷✨ 💬 “I thought we fixed that, but guess we gotta call the devs again.” - every Oracle engineer ever, probably. 🔥 So what’s next? The Clop gang starts dropping hot mixtapes of our data on SoundCloud? Like, “Data Breach: The Album”? 🔥🚀 Prediction: By 2025, Oracle will launch "Oracle Cloud 9," which is literally just a VPN you pray to for protection. NO CAP, it’s gonna be legendary. Share this before your data gets raided next! 🔥👀👉 #OracleHacks #RansomwareRealityCheck