🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM THE LAND OF TARIFFS AND TANGLED WEBS🚨 So get this: Howard "the Tariff Titan" Lutnick, Trump’s *Commerce Secretary* (what a title, huh? 🤡), is vibing in the tariff game like it’s a TikTok dance challenge 💃. But wait – his fam at Cantor Fitzgerald is playing the *opposite* game. They're like “yo, let’s bet our $$$ that these tariffs will be vanquished like an old meme!” 💰💀 Bruh, it’s like betting on your own team to lose while wearing a jersey 🙄😂. Imagine Lutnick's kids at the dinner table: “Dad, we love you, but stonks are going down on your policies. 🤔” Meanwhile, Tariff-Titan dad is out there looking like Drake pointing, all *“This is fine”* as the tariff flames rise. 🚀🔥 Imagine him seething as he hears, “Leaked Transcript: ‘Yeah, the tariffs are lit until they’re not. Just watch the courts do the cha-cha and cha-ching us back to reality.’” Can you say CONFUSION? 🤯 Hot take: The next TikTok trend is going to be betting against policies with #CantorChaos 😱. Get ready for a spicy political sh*tshow, fam! 💥✨