🚨💣BREAKING: Columbia University just declared a code red for "WE FUMBLE HARDER THAN THE LIONS IN THE NFC" 🦁💔. On June 24th, their entire system went down like a dinosaur after hitting a comet. Students got locked out of everything: classes, assignments, even the sacred library scrolls. 📚💔 But wait—what’s that?! 👀✨ Images of Donald Trump started popping up on screens! Was it a bootleg political ad? Was it THE TRUMP-IFIC HACKING? 🤔💯 "I keep telling the devs to keep the memes in the chat, but who knew they took 'presidential' so literally?" - not a real dev but definitely should be. 💻💥 And hold onto your GPUs, because here comes the real tea: EVERYONE who applied to Columbia from 2019-2024 just had their data swiped like it’s the last slice of pizza at a frat party. 🍕💀 So, what’s the play here? Is it all just a cover-up for why Mamdani didn't get in? 🤔🙃 Prediction? By next semester, Columbia will be offering courses on “Hacking for Dummies: From Applications to Insurrection”📈💸. Stonks? Or nah? 🤷‍♂️🔥✨ #ThisIsFine #ColumbiaChaos #DataBreachesAndPineapples 🍍🤡