🚨⚠️ BREAKING: Penn's got the hackers on speed dial! 🤖💻 This ain't your typical “this is fine” situation, folks. Think more “WELCOME TO THE CYBER APOCALYPSE” vibes! 🔥💀 So here’s the tea ☕️: A shady squad of digital ninjas decided to pop into the University of Pennsylvania like, “hey fam, we’re stealing your data—no cap.” 🙈💰 They started throwing shade in the community chats like they just dropped the hottest mixtape of 2023 💿🔥. Imagine Penn’s IT department 🥴: trying to fend off the hackers like they’re fighting a boss in a video game with one life left. “We put up a firewall!” they said. Too bad the hackers brought the entire siege engine! ⚔️🚀 Leaked developer quote from a *totally real* Penn staffer: “I guess we should’ve updated our passwords from ‘password123’ after all… 🤦‍♂️💔” So, what’s next? Stonks? 📈 Nah fam, the only thing rising is the likelihood of a Penn football game being held entirely in the dark. 😂💡 🌌 Prediction time: I give it 3 months before they team up with the hackers for a joint venture called “Data Munchies” - because why not? 🤡💾