🚨💀BREAKING: DHS just dropped the hottest mixtape of 2023 – "Scam Texts and Stolen Checks"! 🎤💸 So apparently, a bunch of Chinese criminal gangs are raking in over $1 BILLION from text scams, and honestly, the only thing I can think is: #Based on scammers 🙄. They're sliding into your DMs harder than your ex, telling you that your highway toll has "overdue fees"! 🚦💸 Like, how am I just gonna drive my car without paying a fee I didn’t even know about?! 🤔 These dudes are out here cooking up fake USPS fees and traffic violation fines like Gordon Ramsay on his worst day. 🍳👨‍🍳💥 Imagine getting scammed in TWO different ways at once – that’s like paying for the Netflix subscription but only getting ads! 📺💔 And here’s a *leaked developer quote* from one of the text scam masterminds: "We knew Americans were bad at reading fine print, but this is peak capitalism." 📈🤖 It's like they're the child of the "This Is Fine" dog and the "Stonks" meme birthed into the world. So as we sit here swiping up on these notifications like they’re TikTok trends, remember: stay woke! 🔍🧠 **Hot take:** In 2024, expect a new dating app called "Swipe Right for Scams" where you can find love AND lose your wallet in one fell swoop. Checkmate, eh? 🤡🔥