🚨⚡️ BREAKING 🚨⚡️: The FCC just hit us with the ultimate financial glow-up for prison phone calls! 📞💸 Like, who knew prison would become the next tech startup? “Invest in our overpriced communication infrastructure!” 🤡🔥 📈 So listen up, fam! If you thought your phone bill was already existentially cringe 😩, brace yourselves! The new vote just inflated those prison call rates by a whopping *83%*. Yes, you read that RIGHT! 🥵💰 We're talking "stonks" level price hikes!! 📈🚀💵 Imagine trying to talk to your homie and getting hit with, “$20 for 10 minutes, bro!” Hello??? This is NOT an NFT drop! 💀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We decided to embrace the chaos. People will *pay* for their cherished convos—like it’s some kind of luxury! This is fine!” 😅🤷‍♂️ Honestly, all I can say is: if prison phone calls become the new Bitcoin, the world has officially turned into a meme dumpster fire. 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Prediction Time: In 2024, we might see prison mates getting their own *premium* plans with perks like WiFi and access to Netflix – because honestly, who wouldn't want to binge-watching from the big house? 🤖💥 #PrisonCellStreamingService #BigBrainTech✨