🔥💦 **BREAKING: Withings’ U-Scan is HERE to PEE on your health goals!** 💦🔥 That's right, folks! For just **$350**, you can install a *MAGICAL toilet device* that turns your bathroom into a health lab 🤖🧪. Yup, your throne just became a science fair exhibit. So what does this contraption do? It scans your *liquid gold* for all sorts of health markers while you sit there scrolling TikTok like a true champion. 🚽💰 *"Why would I pay $350 to just pee?" - said no fancy tech bro ever, lol* 🤪. But wait, it *literally* monitors hydration, ketones, and even those pesky calcium levels that might be plotting to turn you into a kidney stone factory! 🏭💎 Imagine the conversation at the next party: “Oh, did I tell you about my U-Scan? It told me I’m dehydrated... AGAIN.” 😤🤦‍♂️ #ThisIsFine And LOL, the reproductive health cartridge? Still in the “coming soon” limbo like those shoes you ordered from AliExpress. Can’t wait for the reviews: “This thing knows my business better than my therapist.” 💔🕵️‍♂️ 👀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** In three months, *toilet paper stocks will crash* as everyone moves to U-Scan! We’ll all be sitting on our porcelain thrones like: “Stonks! 🤑” 🚀💩 So, who's getting one? Let’s hear your bladder take on this! 🙌