🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Wall Street is vibing with TikTok like it's about to drop the hottest mixtape of the century! 🎤💥 The U.S. and China are out here like Drake and Lil Wayne in 2009, finally reaching a “framework” deal to divest TikTok from its Chinese parent company! No cap, it’s like watching a soap opera, but with more emojis! 🤡💀 So, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent sips his chamomile in Madrid while spilling the tea on this mega-deal! ☕🗞️ “Yo fam, the framework’s lit for a U.S.-owned TikTok!” he probably said between bites of a gluten-free avocado toast. 🥑 Meanwhile, can we talk about how many extensions TikTok’s gotten? They low-key have more extensions than my hair salon! 💇‍♂️🔥 Now, the real question: **Is this deal legit or is it just more smoke and mirrors than your wannabe influencer friend’s photography?** 🤔💭 In a leaked meeting, Trump was like: “Hey Xi, just take my phone, you can keep the *For You* page... I don’t need TikTok... we’re already too busy seething about inflation!” 🤖💰 🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By the end of 2024, TikTok will be a government agency, and all dance trends will be mandatory like jury duty! This is fine. 👁️👁️💀💥 #Stonks #TikTokTakeover #BasedAndDivested 💅✨