🚨 *Breaking News* 🚨 The U.S. government just dropped a HEAVY accusation like it's hot! 💣🔥 First, we had cyberpunks in the basement, now we got ex-L3Harris big boy Peter Williams allegedly moonlighting as an international 🕵️‍♂️ spy! *Sips tea* ☕💅 So here's the tea 🍵: The DOJ is throwing shade like it's the new Netflix reality show! They say Peter was out there snatching trade secrets like it's Black Friday, right into the waiting hands of some buyer in Russia! 🇷🇺 Like, fr fr?! Dude really thought he was in a spy movie, and not one of those cringe ones—more like *James Bond: The Discount Version*. 😭 “Yo, I just needed some extra cash for my gaming rig,” Peter allegedly said in a leaked WhatsApp chat. Bruh, is this the “Wanna buy some Trade Secrets?!” meme? Just wait till the *Stonks* meme brigade finds out! 📈💰 But let's keep it real—who needs to steal secrets when you can just *ghost-write* a tech blog? 🤖💀 Hot take: This is definitely not the last we’ll see of tech bros going rogue! I predict a full-on *cyber soap opera* will drop on Hulu by next week! *Cue dramatic music* 🎶🔪 What’s next? Elon Musk gets a reality show about saving tech workers from themselves?! 🛠️😂 #StayWild