🚨💔 BREAKING: TRUMP & XI GONNA "CONSUMMATE" TIKTOK DEAL! 💔🚨 🧐 Y’all, my sources are saying that on THURSDAY, the fate of TikTok will be sealed in a deal hotter than your cousin’s mixtape 🔥💿! Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent (who is def not a TikTok star, lol) dropped the tea ☕️, saying Uncle Sam and Chairman Xi are ready to swipe right on each other and make this thing OFFICIAL! 🤑💰 You heard it here first: *TikTok stonks* are about to go 🚀🚀. These two global titans are not just gonna talk; they’re about to get all *Galaxy Brain* on us! Picture this—Trump with a crown made of likes 👑, while Xi is like, “This is fine” in the flames of capitalism! This is NOT a drill! 🗣️ “Honestly, we just want to make TikTok great again,” claims an *unnamed developer* (sure, Jan 🙃). They’re like Drake pointing left and right at both countries, "Can we just vibe without all this drama?" 🤷‍♂️ Brace yourselves, fam, because in a world where countries collab like TikTok influencers, I predict *global TikTok dances will become the new diplomatic protocol*—*2024 is gonna be wild, no cap!* 🚨💀🕺 🔄 SHARE this if you’re ready for TikTok to take over the UN!