🚨💸 BREAKING NEWS IN THE CRYPTO CIRCUS! 💸🚨 US Attorney Jeanine Pirro just launched a federal task force, and it’s not the *X-Files*—but it’s definitely got that same "we're about to get spooky" vibe! 👻💀 The mission? To hunt down those overseas crime lord masterminds behind the $9.3 BILLION crypto scams that turned average Americans into sad Keanu Reeves memes! 😢💸 *Leaked developer quote*: “We thought we were just vibing with our NFTs, but now we've been hit harder than the stock market during a meme crash! 😩💔 #stonks #help” Imagine a ragtag group of agents tracking down these crypto fiends like they're hunting Thanos for the last Infinity Stone! Infinity Stone? Nah, they’re after *infinity scams*! 🤡🚀 Meanwhile, those criminals are probably living their best lives sipping coconut water on a beach, plotting their next meme coin scheme while we’re over here like “Is this fine?” 🔥☕ Pro tip: If your investment strategy compares your portfolio to a dumpster fire... it’s time to reevaluate. 😂🔥 So here’s the unhinged prediction: You heard it here first, next year’s headline will be “Pirro Task Force Discovers Crypto Scam Operating Out of a Meme Farm" 😂🤖. Buckle up, America! It's gonna be a bumpy ride! 💥 #CryptoChaos