🚨🦅BREAKING: Trump Admin ➡️ Endangered Species List = HOTEL CALIFORNIA?!? 💀🎶🔥 So listen up folks, Secretary Doug “I’m just here for the vibes” Burgum just said the Endangered Species List is like the Hotel California – “You can check out anytime, but you can NEVER LEAVE.” 😱🛤️ Calling it the 2023 “Stonks” of wildlife conservation, no cap! 📈💰 Like, imagine a sad bear 🐻 sitting at the front desk, just crying into its paws. "Can I get a refund for those less charismatic species?" Meanwhile, Burgum's over here just vibing, telling stories about the band that defined the cringe of the 70s. 💔🙃 👀 Leaked quotes from a developer in the Department of Interior say: "Honestly, I thought we were just naming all the species we could find on Tinder. Turns out we legit just created a wildlife hangout. This is fine. 😅🔥” Meanwhile, the only thing endangered here is common sense. 🤡🚀 🌎🔮 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Next, we’ll be putting endangered animals on reality TV. "Keeping Up with the Cheetahs," anyone? Because if they’re gonna go extinct, they might as well get a 15-minute fame moment! #CancelWildlifeRealityShows 🤖💔