🚨💥 WE HAVE A BREAKING 📉: Rick Muller, the dude whose job it was to *literally* test tech for US spies, has tossed his resignation like a bad meme! 💔👀 After less than a year of playing 007 with the CIA and NSA, our favorite tech wizard has bailed faster than you can say “I can’t do this anymore!” 😱💻💨 In classic Spy vs. Spy style, he’s leaving the R&D unit known as IARPA after dropping some serious cash 💰💰 in emerging tech that screams “I’m either going to save the world or break the internet—no cap.” The tea is hot, fam! ☕️🔥 What was his reasoning? “Finding the next best tech to stop cybercriminals is fine, but I wasn’t prepared for all these Zoom meetings. I NEED MY COFFEE.” 😵‍💫🥴 Imagine poor Rick’s last day: “So you’re telling me we can’t just install a TikTok ban and call it a day?” 📲🚫 Now, what does this mean for the future? The stonks 👀📈 of surveillance tech are about to 🚀 GO TO THE MOON, baby! 🤑🔥 My hot take? Expect IARPA’s next director to be replaced by an actual AI (which, let’s be real, might be a better spy than any human). “It’s fine. This is fine.” 🔥🌍