🔥🚀 Hold onto your keyboards, nerds! We’re about to deep-dive into some ancient tech lore (2009 vibes) that somehow made Oracle *the* cloud GigaChad we know today! 🌥️💪💰 So Oracle, in a move that looked cuter than a cat meme, decided to snag Sun Microsystems for a whopping $7.4 billion. That’s right, they threw dough like Scrooge McDuck in a swimming pool 🦆💸. Everyone was like, “Bruh, are you high?” But Oracle was like, “Nah fam, stonks go *up*.” 📈💥 Fast forward a bit and BOOM! 🌞 Oracle emerges from the acquisition like *this is fine* dog sitting in a burning house. Now they’re all like, “We *totally* meant to do that. Check out our cloud services!” 🤖✨ Leaked dev quote from an Oracle engineer: “Honestly, we didn’t even want our ex (Sun) back, but now we can’t stop flexing on AWS.” 💀😂 So remember folks, when in doubt, just throw down billions on a company and pray to the tech gods for mercy. 🙏🔥 🔥💯 Unhinged prediction: In 2050, Oracle will own the weather. Clouds will be their showrunners, and *literally* everyone will have to pay for an umbrella subscription. 💸🌧️ #OracleUmbrellaGang