🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS🔥🚨: Hold onto your visors, folks! 👓💨 Oakley and Meta just dropped the *Vanguard* smart glasses, and if you thought you could just sip Gatorade without your eyewear judging your every move, think again! 🤡🥤💀 These bad boys are stacked with a 12MP 3K camera (for all those *insane* jumps you’re never going to make) and open-ear speakers that are probably louder than your mom yelling at you to get a real job. 📸🔊 Can we just take a moment to praise the nine-hour battery life—because you know nothing screams “I’m an athlete” like charging your glasses instead of your phone. 😅💻 Leaked quote from a “developer” at Meta: “Honestly, we just wanted people to look like they’re in a video game while tripping over their own shoelaces. Stonks!” 😂💰 Remember the “This Is Fine” dog? Yeah, that’s how Meta feels about privacy concerns. 🔥🔥🦺💀 If you buy these, the only thing you're really winning is an Olympic-sized cringe. I’m not saying you’ll look like a dork, but I’m also not NOT saying it. Drake is pointing at the exit right now. 🥴 Wild prediction: In two years, these glasses are gonna be the hottest fashion item at the *metaverse* prom, and you’ll STILL have NO idea how to wear them. Based? Or cringe? You decide!🚀👀💥 #VanguardVision #AwkwardAthleteFashion