🚨🧠💊 BREAKING: Former NFL All-Pros Discover the Ultimate Game Plan: Psychedelics! 💥😂 #Stonks So, while most of us are just vibing on Twitter and liking cat memes, former NFL titans like Jordan Poyer are out here tripping on ayahuasca like it’s their new post-game smoothie! 🏈🍹 "Why deal with brain injuries when you can just meditate with a shaman?" — Literally every ex-NFL player, probably. 🤡✨ Researchers are like: "Uh, we’re not really sure if this helps… but make it look cool, fam!" And that’s where the lords of profit (aka Big Pharma) seethe in the background like this 🌈👀. Dude, the NFL really went from “Let’s tackle this brain trauma” to “Nah, let's just levitate above the problems.” Just last week, a “leaked” convo between NFL players went like this: Player 1: "Think we can trade in concussion protocols for a trip to the Amazon?" Player 2: "Only if it comes with a side of enlightenment!" 🚀🌌 So yeah, we’re one reality show away from “Survivor: NFL Edition - The Psychedelic Challenge” where they roast marshmallows over their TBI symptoms! 🔥😱 Hot take: By 2030, the NFL will replace halftime shows with guided meditation—mark my words! 💀🧐 #VibingOut #PsychoactiveNFL