🚨👾 BREAKING NEWS: EA is secretly plotting to become a financial ninja 🥷💰 by going private! What does this mean? Is their *loot box* addiction finally being exposed? 🤔💀 #LeaveEAAlone Sources: “Honestly, we just want to escape the hate” - *leaked dev quote* (probably legit tho fr fr). EA’s like that friend who keeps asking for money at brunch 🥂 but once you turn around, they’re buying *another* yacht. 🛥️💦 So here’s the tea 🍵: Industry insiders are saying EA is in talks to go private, hinting something is rotten in the state of the gaming universe. 🚨 Whether it’s cringey microtransactions or games that cost more to fix than your ex's love life 💔, this is giving *major red flag* vibes. 🙅‍♂️💔 Meanwhile, investors be like: “This is fine. Just keep releasing FIFA 7020 but take away the story mode.” 🙄💥 In the words of stonks guy: “Going private will improve profits!” Or they’re just ready to *seethe* without the scrutiny. 🤷‍♂️🚀 Prediction: By 2025, EA will only operate in a *multiverse* where everyone else uses their games for toilet paper. 🧻👽🔥 Buckle up, it’s gonna be a chaotic ride! 😂💥 #EAUnhinged