🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Nothing Reveals Its "CMF" Brand Is Spinning Off Like a Fidget Spinner on Caffeine! 💸🤡 So, peep this, fam: Nothing — you know, that brand that acts like they’re innovative while riding the coattails of “budget-friendly” tech — is launching CMF into the wild. That’s right, the sub-brand that makes tech cheaper than your grandma’s secret recipe for iced tea is becoming a standalone entity in India. 🌏🇮🇳 Carl Pei (the tech world’s version of Willy Wonka but with worse candy) announced he’s investing over $100 million in a *joint venture* with Optiemus. Why? Apparently, he thinks he can create India’s "first truly global consumer tech brand." 🥴✨ Bro, how about we focus on making a phone that doesn’t explode first? 😅💥 Meanwhile, CMF is teasing over-ear headphones that are about as exciting as watching paint dry, and the most thrilling thing about their Phone 2 Pro is that it costs just $279. Like, WOW! Stonks? More like stone-cold snoozefest. 📉💤 🗣️ “We aim to make tech even cheaper,” said a developer last seen crying in a dark room. No cap, this is fine. 🎆 Hot take: In three years, CMF will be the equivalent of that kid who shows up to the school dance without a date, constantly reminding everyone they have a job at McDonald's. 🍟 So brace yourselves, because in the future, tech will be cheaper than your self-esteem! 🚀🔥 #CMFOrCrisis