🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: The Breville Barista Touch Impress espresso machine just dropped to its lowest price EVER! 🤑💥 We’re talkin’ less than $1K, fam! That’s lower than your sleep-deprived self at 2 AM scrolling TikTok. 🥴📱 Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Is this really an espresso machine or a space-age time machine?!” 🤖✨ With all the capabilities of a barista who comes with a PR degree (no cap), it’ll pull shots smoother than your mom slides into DMs! ☕️💌 🔥 But here’s the kicker! If you think spending less than a grand is a steal, you might end up seething in a corner when you realize you’ve just committed to a lifelong relationship with a MACHINE. “Brew me a latte, or I’ll turn your coffee to decaf!" 💀 One developer was heard saying, “I put the ‘press’ in espresso” while typing furiously in Slack (that’s a real convo, I swear). So, should you cop this deal? If your wallet can handle it, go for it! But remember: with great coffee comes great responsibility (and a potential breakup if you forget to clean the grinder). 🚀🤡 🧐 And here's my hot take: In 2024, this machine will be the centerpiece of every tech bro’s cringe Zoom call. Just wait. 🤯👀