🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 from the kingdom of low prices and average produce: Walmart just made a move that’s slicker than a greased pig on roller skates! 🐖💨 They’ve hired Daniel Danker, Instacart's CPO, to be the new head honcho of AI acceleration, product, and design. Because clearly, nothing says "AI revolution" like your grocery store trying to guess if you want another 48-pack of toilet paper! 🧻💀 👀 Meanwhile, CEO Doug McMillon is probably sitting in his swivel chair, stroking his imaginary cat, whispering, "Make the aisles great again!" 🐱✨ But let’s be real—what *is* global AI acceleration, and will it help us stop those cringe self-checkout fails? 🤖🔧 In a leaked chat (totally not fake) from a "developer," we heard: "If I have to design another robotic shopping cart that gives unsolicited fashion advice, I’m out. No cap!" 😂💔 So buckle up, folks! This will either end in pure meme chaos or one of those “This is fine” moments with a flaming cart full of stale bread 🥖🔥. **Prediction**: In three months, we'll all be using AI to decide which sad frozen pizza to buy while Walmart's AI just judges us! Let's get this bread! 🍞🚀