🚨✨BREAKING: Apple Wallet Level UP in iOS 26!✨🚨 Y’all, grab your tinfoil hats because Apple just hit us with some NEXT LEVEL updates for their Wallet app, and we’re all just sitting here like 🎱🤑. What’s new? A shiny new Digital ID feature AND AI order tracking that’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. 💀💾 Let’s break this down like your 6th-grade math homework. 📝💔 First off, Digital ID, because apparently carrying an ID is just TOO 2022. I mean, why would we want to use an actual ID when we can show our LICENSE on a tiny screen, while the whole world’s eyes are watching? 👁️👁️ This is fine. Then we got AI order tracking, which, LOL, does that mean Siri is finally your shopping assistant who won’t judge you for buying 17 tacos at 3AM? Taco Tuesday just hit different, fr fr. 🌮💰 Leaked dev quote: "We just kept adding features until we hit CODE RED with the shame!" - Anonymous Apple Dev, probably. So, will iOS 26 let you pay your rent using just a *squint* at your phone? Nah, but let’s just pretend, because all the cool kids are doing it! 🚀 🤡🔮 Hot take: In 2025, we’ll just have our brain chips directly linked to the Apple Wallet, and we’ll be sending payments via telepathy. #Stonks 💥 You heard it here first.