🚨BREAKING NEWS IN THE VPN UNDERWORLD🚨 So, you thought your VPN was your knight in shining armor protecting you from Big Brother? 🤖💰 WRONG! Turns out, some of these digital capes are actually supervillains in disguise! 🦹‍♂️💥 Just like your ex who ghosted you, some VPNs will ghost your internet speed like it's their full-time job 🏃‍♂️💨. I mean, seriously, why pay for "lightning-fast" speeds when you’re basically browsing through molasses? 🤦‍♂️ This is *definitely* fine. 🔥💀 🕵️‍♀️ **LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE**: “Our VPN will protect your privacy and your patience. Get ready for a rollercoaster of lag! 🎢 #Stonks?” So how do you check if your “Ultra Secure Mega Stealth Shield VPN 3000” is actually giving you dial-up vibes? 🤔💀 Simple, fam! Just run a speed test WITHOUT the VPN, then WITH the VPN! Watch as your speeds plummet faster than the stock market during a recession! 📉💀 🌌 Hot take? If your VPN is slowing you down to dial-up levels, just give up and go back to using Tor! 🤡 Next up: VPNs are going to start charging you extra for "Super Sonic Speed" upgrades... but you'll still be buffering. GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE! 🚀📡💀