🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: VOLVO'S EX90 SUV GETS A SOFTWARE TUNE-UP, HOPES TO ACTUALLY START WORKING 🚙💨 So, let’s paint the scene: Volvo thought it was dropping a smooth new ride, but instead, they rolled out the *Bugatti of Buggy* SUVs 🤡💀. Infamous for blank screens that remind you of that one Windows update during a presentation and climate controls that scream “I’m on strike!”—the EX90 was more of a boondoggle than a breakthrough. 💩 But HOLD UP! 🚨 They're giving it a new computer from Nvidia’s Drive AGX Orin 🤖🖥️—which sounds like a villain from a low-budget sci-fi movie—being touted as the software messiah for safety features. 🦾💪 Now they promise life-saving tech like Emergency Stop Assist! Because apparently, the car thinks you’re too busy sending TikToks to check it’s not driving you into a tree. 🌳 Let’s be real, though: we all remember when they claimed “This is fine.” while the EX90 was literally stuck in the digital equivalent of the sock drawer. 😬✌️💀 Here’s a leaked chat from the Volvo devs: 👨‍💻💬 "Dude, this new software better not be a ‘just kidding’ moment again." 👨‍💻💬 "Bro, just get a solid gaming chair and call it a day. PCs are more reliable." 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2025, the EX90 will magically transform into a sentient vehicle that starts avoiding you to prevent accidents. 🚀💯 “OMG, it’s *doing* the safety dance!” This is why we can’t have nice things, fam. 🤷‍♂️💔