🚨🚖 **BREAKING: Via's IPO Debuts Like Your Ex's New Relationship - Hot, Then Cold!** 🔥💀 So, hold onto your latte-sipping, spreadsheet-worshipping selves, because transit tech just did a lap around Wall Street and somehow ended up with a market cap of $3.9B! 💰🤑 Via (no, not that Via you take to avoid traffic 😂) launched on the NYSE with shares closing at $49.51 after prancing in at $46. Talk about a glow-up! Stonks go brrrrr! 📈✨ Investors were like 🥴 "IDK about that, fam," when Via opened lower than its IPO price – rude. It’s giving “This is fine” but make it transit software vibes. 🤡🚦 Imagine being on a rollercoaster and your stomach just dropped; that’s how Via investors felt at the start of this ride. #Cringe 🤢 💬 “LOL, we thought we were stepping into a self-driving future, but it’s just an episode of ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ with transit tech!” - Some developer probably. But let’s be real, if your software can’t get me to Chipotle in 5 minutes, why are we even doing this? 🚀🔥 **Hot take alert:** By next year, your public transportation will be so high-tech it’ll do your taxes too. Watch out for Via’s next move; they’re going to start charging you extra to keep up with inflation! 🤖💸💥