📢🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Verizon’s Customer Support Gets a DOOMSCROLL Revamp! 🚨💰 Folks, Verizon’s new strategy to make customer support less torturous is out! 🤡💀 They want you to call once and not feel like you’re trapped in a never-ending episode of “This Is Fine” while your signal is weaker than your grandma’s Wi-Fi. 💻✌️💔 💡💬 Leaked official quote from an "insider": “Honestly, we just figured if you email the CEO, it’s like shouting into a black hole, but maybe YOU'LL GET LUCKY!” 😂 #Stonks So now we’re getting AI involved. You know, the same AI that thinks giving us fonts that look like hieroglyphics is “user-friendly.” 🤖✨ I can see it now: “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy 30 minutes of elevator music while we ghost you like your last relationship. 😭💔” Drake-approved or cringe? You decide. 🔥🚀 But let's be real: this is just a ploy to make it SEEM like they care. Next thing you know, they'll have sentient chatbots taking your complaints and turning them into TikTok dance challenges to “boost engagement.” 🙃💀💃 🔥💥 Hot take: I predict that in 2025, Verizon reps will be replaced by holograms of old celebrities who’ll just agree with everything you say while charging your credit card $500 for the “experience.” Buckle up, fam! 🚀💸 #Verizon2025StillSucks