🚨BREAKING: Verizon's Epic Quirkiness Unleashed! 🚨 🤑💥 Get ready to lose your mind over the STONKS of smartphone deals 'cause Verizon just dropped a MASSIVE offer: FREE Samsung Galaxy S25 when you add a line on select plans! 📱💸 (Disclaimer: if you add a line from 1995, you'll still get nothing. Sorry, Jerry) 👀💀 This phone is *so* lit, even the Galaxy Brain meme is like "yasss." 🔥 Slimmer than your last five relationships and just as powerful as the fiery chaos of 2020, the S25 is here with all the AI tricks and a fingerprint sensor that says "I see you" every morning! 🤖🕵️‍♂️ **Leaked developer quote:** "It’s basically a magical rectangle that makes scrolling TikTok look 10x cooler. 😂” - Anonymous Verizon intern, probably. But fr fr, Verizon's just out here trying to add lines faster than your ex adds new red flags. This is fine, though, 'cause we all know you'll coo over that free phone while secretly seething over the 2-year commitment. 😩✋ 🔥**Hot Take**: Next, Verizon is gonna start giving away free couriers for your emotional baggage. 📦💔 So buckle up, fam! The S25 is coming for you, and soon every text you send will have an 800-calorie double cheeseburger emoji! 🍔💀🍔 SHARE THIS CHAOS! 💖🚀🔥