🚨🔥 GUYS. STOP EVERYTHING! Verizon just dropped a Black Friday bombshell! 💣💰🤯 Imagine this: you, yes YOU, cuddled up with a FREE Nintendo Switch while your Wi-Fi is as fast as Flash on steroids! 🚀💻 💔 But before you start pitching a tent in front of your local Verizon store like it's the last slice of pizza at a party, let's spill the tea 🍵. All you gotta do is — drumroll, please 🥁 — sign up for their "deal of the century" home internet plan. Sounds easy-peasy, right? It’s like asking your grandma for her secret cookie recipe, only to find out she doesn't bake cookies anymore! 🥴🤦‍♂️ Leaked developer quote: "Honestly, we just want people to forget about our 5G network crashing more than your hopes for a stable love life." 😂💔 But wait, there’s MORE! 😱 You could also choose between a Samsung TV or tablet. So you can binge-watch Netflix while your neighbor plays zzzzz on their 56k dial-up. This is peak capitalism, baby! 💸📺 Prediction: By 2025, Verizon will be giving away entire houses if you sign up for a 10-year contract. “Free home! No cap!” 💀🏡📅 Let’s get this going viral, fam! Share or seethe 💥🔥! #VerizonSwitch #BlackFridayMadness