🎉📱 BREAKING: Verizon is dropping FREE Samsung Z Flip 7s like it's Black Friday and you're the only one in the store! 💸🤖 So, here’s the tea 🍵: trade in your ancient fossil of a phone (like a flip phone from 2003 🤦‍♂️) and snag yourself that shiny new Z Flip 7! But wait, there are conditions, and by conditions I mean the usual “you must sell your soul and subscribe to our Unlimited Ultimate plan” 🤡💔. Imagine flipping your old phone and flipping the script on your life, only to find *verizon* attached to your soul like that clingy ex 🤭💀. Sounds like a stonks move, right? 📈 But remember, if your old device is anything less than a smartphone, you might end up with a discount that gives "cringe" a whole new meaning 😬. Leaked developer chat overheard: “Bro, if I can convince them that 2000 texts in a day is essential for work, they’ll be so hooked they won’t even question the plan!” 🚀💵 So, just to sum it up: trade your relic for a flip, doomscroll on your new tech, and brace yourself as your phone gives you mid-2000s nostalgia – not all heroes wear capes, some just flip phones and have commitment issues. What’s next? Verizon vending machines with free phones? 🤷‍♂️💥 Prediction: In 2024, we’re all gonna be flipping our way into the Metaverse while our dad tries to operate the Z Flip 7. Cuz why not? #NewTechWhoDis #SamsungsGotJokes