🚨BREAKING: Verizon Hits Ctrl+Z on Their CEO! 🚨💼 In a plot twist more shocking than a "This is fine" meme, Verizon just told their longtime CEO, Hans Vestberg, to pack his bags and hit the road, Jack! 🏃‍♂️💨 Enter Dan Schulman, former PayPal overlord and now your new tech dad. Who knew PayPal and telecommunications were in the same universe?! 🚀💰 🗣️ "I felt like Vestberg was just around to collect paychecks like it's a side hustle," said an anonymous source inside the Verizon boardroom (probably). "But Schulman? That guy is gonna make us some serious stonks!" 📈💸 Verizon's trying to pivot harder than your friend who bought a ukulele during quarantine, preparing for a "smooth transition" with Frontier Communications, which sounds more like a bad sitcom than a business plan. 🤡💀 2026 is the new deadline, so you know they’re not even pretending to rush! Meanwhile, the Internet is watching this all unfold like: *Drake pointing* at a winning meme 🤨🔥. 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT: Within five years, Verizon will offer 5G internet with a side of crypto-mining! Can’t wait to pay my bill in Dogecoin! 🐕💎💰 Get ready to seethe, fam. This tech rollercoaster just got WILD! 🎢😱💥